The Labyrinth
by Ronin-N-Gang
Summary: Jareth gets some unexpected guest when Casadena and Shawna enter the Labyrinth.
1. Secret Path into the Labyrinth

**Disclaimer: **We do not own the Labyrinth! If we did, I'm sure mudrakdragon1 would never let you see Jareth ever again… As for me, let's just say that you really wouldn't want to see what I'd do to the place if I had created it!

**Warning: **This story was created while mudrakdragon1 and I were under the influence of a sugar high.

Now onto the story!

**The Labyrinth**

**Chapter One**

**Secret Path into the Labyrinth**

**By Ronin S. Oath and mudrakdragon1**

A nineteen year old brunette girl with a pallid complexion, cat-like eyes, and neon green highlights dances around her disorderly room, listening to 'Take Me Out' by Franz Ferdinand from her Now 17 CD.

_Baaaa-ring! Baaaa-ring!_

"Casadena," a deep male's voice calls from another room, "phone!"

_Baaaaa-ringgggg! Baaa-ring! Baaa-ring!_

"Answer the phone!" the voice calls out once again.

_Baaa-ringggg! Baaa-ring! Baaa-ring!_

"**Get the damn phone!**"

Casadena, hardly hearing what her older brother was yelling at her, asks, "Wha?"

_Baaaa-ring!_

"The phones ringing," Casadena says happily, just as her bother yells again.

"**Get that god-damned phone already!**"

"Oh," Casadena pushes pause on her CD player and merrily walks across half a foot from where she was standing to where the phone sat on her dresser. Placing the phone against her left ear, Casadena greets, "Konnichiwa!"

"'Ello," the voice of Casadena's best friend says from the other side of the line.

"Konnichiwa!"

"'Ello."

"Konnichiwa!"

"'Ello."

"Konnichiwa!"

"'Ello."

"Konnichiwa!"

"'Ello."

"Konnichiwa!"

"'Ello."

"Konnichiwa!"

"'Ello."

"Konnichiwa!"

"'Ello."

"Konnichiwa!"

"'Ello."

"Konnichiwa!"

"'Ello."

"Konnichiwa!"

"'Ello."

"Konnichiwa!"

Suddenly, the other voice says, "Guess who."

Casadena concentrates on the phone for a long moment. "Santa!"

"No, ya fool!" the other voice replies. "It's me!"

"I don't know a Me," Casadena answers, looking though her address book. "Nope, no Me."

"You know this Me!"

"Um…" Casadena sucks in her bottom lip as she thinks. "My evil twin?"

"Not even close!"

"Um… How about the Tooth Fairy?"

"No! Never!"

"Jhonen V?"

"Not in a million years…"

"I know!" Casadena suddenly shouts, bringing her hand down on a nearby table. "The Easter Bunny… man… thing!"

"**I'm not a man, I'm a woman**!" her friend yells. "Well… girl… red-neck gurl."

"Konnichiwa!"

"This is hopeless," the other girl replies, letting out a large sigh. "What would you say if I whacked ya up-side the head?"

"Shawna!"

"That's right!" the one known as 'Shawna' replies from the other side of the line. "You remembered!"

"Remembered what?"

On the other side of the line, Shawna bangs her head against the wall. "Do you remember who you are talking to?"

"Shawna!"

"Right. That is what you remember."

"Konnichiwa!"

"**Enough with the konnichiwa!**" Shawna yells.

"M-kay."

"Ok."

"M-kay."

"Ok."

"M-kay."

"Ok."

"M-kay."

"Ok."

"M-kay."

"Ok."

"M-kay."

"Ok."

"M-kay."

"Ok."

"M-kay."

"Ok."

"M-kay."

"Ok."

"M-kay."

"Ok."

"M-kay."

"Ok."

"M-kay."

"Ok."

"M-kay."

Shawna begins to growl. "Enough with the Ok's!"

"OK!"

"Grrrrrrrrr."

Casadena gulps. "Um… Sure thing!"

"Alright. Now… I was a wonderin' if ya like ta come over ta me casa-"

"Now who was this?"

On the other side of the line, Shawna bangs her head against the wall once again. "**Okay! **This is Shawna! I was wonderin' if you wanted to come over to my house."

"Yea, I'll be-"

"Because I have something to show you."

Picking up her all-around school bag, Casadena replies, "I'll be there in five."

"Five?" Shawna questions. "Five what?"

"Wha?"

"You just said you'd be here in five… Five what?"

"Where ya goin'?"

Shawna sighs. "Ok… I asked you if you wanted to come over, and you said you'd be here in five. Five what?"

"Oh!" Casadena says. "I'm already here!"

"Huh?"

"Yea! I was talking to you and walking at the same time!"

"Wait a second…"

Outside of Shawna home, Casadena walks up the front steps, and knocks on the door.

"Hold on a sec," Shawna says to Casadena on the phone. Putting the phone down, she asks herself, "Who can that be?" Shawna carries the phone over to the door with her. "'ello?"

"I'm here!" Casadena replies, hanging up her own phone and stuffing it inside of her all-around school bag.

"Oh… Ok." Shawna opens the door after hanging up the phone.

"Sorry," Casadena tells her as she walks into the girl's house. "It was only 3.5 seconds. I guess walking next door isn't as long of a walk as we thought…"

Shawna blinks.

"So…" Casadena looks around the highly decorated living room, which was also covered in with shelves of books and movies. "What did ya wanna show me?"

Casadena pulls a picture of Jareth off of the nearest shelf.

"The she-man?"

"No! We're going to the Labyrinth!"

"Oh!" Casadena replies. "Do you have a mirror?"

"Um… Up in my room… Why?"

Before Shawna even has time to blink, Casadena runs up the series of steps, and enters Shawna's room. Casadena glazes into the mirror Shawna spoke of. "**Goblins! Take us away to the… **umm… Take us away… hmmm… How did that go?"

Just then, Shawna walks into her room. Spotting Casadena, Shawna shakes her head sadly, and walks over to the girl. "Come on." Shawna grabs Casadena's hand and leads her though the mirror.

-

Suddenly, the two appear on the outside of the Labyrinth.

"Here we are!" Shawna says happily. "Do you have your camera?"

"Checko," Casadena replies, pulling a camera out of her all-around school bag.

"Alright! Let's go!"

**To Be Continued…**


	2. Uninvited Guests

**The Labyrinth**

**Chapter Two**

**Uninvited Guests**

**By Ronin S. Oath and mudrakdragon1**

Jareth glazes into one of the three crystal balls in his hand, watching the two intruders intently.

One of his goblin minions steps closer to him. "Hey, boss…"

"What?"

"Um…" the goblin looks around uncertainly, before continuing. "There are some intruders…"

"Tell me something I don't know."

"They're trying to get into the labyrinth."

Jareth leers down at his minion. "Fine. I'll be back." With that said, Jareth disappears.

123456123456123456123456123456

Shawna, glancing around at the vast amount of land, walks backwards up the Cliffside. Then bumps right into something very solid. "'Ello!"

"Konnichiwa!" Casadena calls out on instinct.

"What the-" Shawna turns around to see what she bumped into, and her eyes fall of the Goblin King. "Ohhhh! Hey." All of the sudden, Shawna remembers something. "You weren't supposed to know we were here… Damn."

"May I ask what are you doing here?" the Goblin King questions, glancing from one girl to the other.

"Well," Casadena begins. "You see she-man-"

Casadena is cut off when Shawna whacks her upside the head. "What in the hell do you _think_ you are saying? This is the fucking Goblin King! He can throw us into an Oubliette where we'd rot away foreverrrrrrrrr!"

Both Jareth and Casadena blink.

"**Don't stare at me! You know I hate it when people stare at me!**" Shawna shouts. Turning to Jareth, she continues. "And you! What do you think you are doing starring at me? You have no position in this conversation."

"But," Casadena cuts in, "I thought you _liked_ the she-man…"

A maroon blush covers Shawna's face, and she begins twitching. "Casadena… Can we talk for a second?" Without waiting for an answer, Shawna grabs her friend, and pulls her over to the side. "How many times do I have to tell you to keep **your big mouth shut? **He's not even supposed to know we're here, and here you are telling him that I like him!"

Casadena blinks, not understanding the problem. "Yea…"

"That's not something he needs to know right now!"

Behind them, Jareth clears his throat. "You know, I'm standing right here."

"Konnichiwa!"

Shawna slaps Casadena upside the head once again, and turns on the Goblin Kings, her eyes filled with fury. "Once again, you have entered a conversation which has nothing to do with you!"

"Actually-"

"And might I let you know that… that…"

Jareth raises one eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Hold on, it's comin'," Shawna says. Then to herself, she adds, "What was I goin' to say?" With an agitated sigh, Shawna turns to Casadena. "Hey, Casadena. What was I going to say?"

Casadena concentrates. "Liver and onions!"

Shawna hits the girl upside the head. "I wasn't going to say that, dipshit!"

"You weren't?" Casadena asks, rubbing the bump on her head.

Jareth stands there, his arms crossed, and tapping one of his boots. "Yet again, I am left out of the conversation."

Casadena, getting a glimpse of Jareth from over Shawna's shoulder, says, "I think the she-man is lonely."

"**He's not a she-man!**"

Casadena pushes pass Shawna, walks over to the goblin King, and stares up at him for a long time before finally asking, "You a she-man?"

Jareth raises his eyebrow. "Do I look like a she-man?"

"Yes."

Jareth looks over to Shawna. "Does she do this often?"

"It all depends," Shawna answers. "Anyways…"

"What do you want, she-man?"

"I've already asked you," Jareth replies. "I want to know what you are doing here."

Casadena blinks, then bows her head, looking to the ground. "You have to blame my parents for that."

Shawna blinks. "What?"

"They gave birth to me."

"O… K…" With a shake of her head, Shawna looks to the Goblin King. "We wanna get into the labyrinth. We wanna make it to that… Um… What'd you call it?"

Casadena pulls a very long list from her all-around backpack and starts reading items off. "North Pole?"

"No."

"School?"

"No."

"Library?"

"Well, I do have to return that book…"

"The arcade?"

"No, that's not it."

"Neptune?"

"**Things in the labyrinth,** ya dipshit."

Casadena nods, and pulls another list out of her all-around backpack. "An oubliette?"

"No! Not one of those!"

"Actually," Jareth interrupts, "that would be a good place to put you."

Shawna turns of him. "Would you please say out of our conversations? You have a very bad habit of that, ya know."

"Bog of Eternal Stench?" Casadena continues.

Shawna whacks Casadena upside the head.

"And you have a very bad habit of doing that," Jareth replies.

"Junkyard?"

Shawna gives Casadena a pointed look. "Do I look like I wanna go to a junkyard?"

"Goblin City?"

Shawna thinks for a moment. "That would be a start… Have to go through there to get to the castle…"

The two girls look at one another, just realizing that was said. "The castle!"

Jareth clears his throat. "I am the king here and this is my kingdom."

Shawna turns to the Goblin King. "So?"

"What makes you think that I'll let you into the labyrinth or that you could get to the castle if I did?"

"Because we asked you nicely," Shawna replies, then remembering something, she adds, "Oh wait… no we didn't."

Casadena smiles. "We were trying to sneak in like little thieves."

Shawna slaps her friend on the back of the head. "**Quite!**"

"M-kay," Casadena says, covering the back of her head with her hands. When nothing happened, Casadena uncovers her head, and turns to Jareth. "So, she-man… Can we go to the maze-thing?"

Jareth, tired to dealing with the two, answers, "You have thirteen hours to get to my castle. If you do not make it by then, you will both become members of Goblin City."

"And if we do?" both Casadena and Shawna asks.

"I'll let you choose your own rewards." With that, Jareth disappears from view.

**To Be Continued…**


	3. Labyrinth Doors

**The Labyrinth**

**Chapter Three**

**Labyrinth Doors**

**By Ronin S. Oath and mudrakdragon1**

When Shawna and Casadena reach the beginning of the labyrinth, they see a poor troll-like creature being chased by hundreds of fairies.

"Konnichiwa!" Casadena screams out, calling attention to them.

The troll-like creature instantly stops and looks in their direction. But just as he does so, he is assaulted by the fairies.

After half an hour, the fairies get bored with the troll-like creature and leave him alone.

Shawna and Casadena are still standing there with blank expressions on there faces.

Shawna is the first to speak. "Hey… Are you okay?"

"Konnichiwa!"

The troll-like creature looks up from his position on the ground before blacking out.

Casadena strolls over to the troll-like creature, and gently taps his shoulder with her foot. "Wanna wake him up?"

Shawna walks over. "Yea, wake 'em up!"

"How should we do it? How should we do it? How should we do it?" Casadena repeats over and over again, jumping up and down as she did so.

A wicked smile appears on Shawna's lips. "I know how!"

"How?"

Shawna pulls a CD player from her abnormally large pocket.

"What are ya gonna do, Shawna?"

"I'm gonna wake 'em up," Shawna replies, sneaking slowly up to the troll-like creature.

"M-kay," Casadena says, watching. After about 5 minutes, when Shawna is still in the process of sneaking over to the troll-like creature, Casadena gets bored and pulls a flyswatter from her all-around book bag. With a quick look around, Casadena spots a large group of fairies and starts running after them.

When Shawna is finally beside the troll-like creature, she turns her CD player on loud and places the headphones on the troll-like creature's ears before hitting the play button.

The troll-like creature nearly jumps out of his skin when the song 'Let's Get it Started' by Black Eyed Peas comes on, which causes Shawna to start a laughing fit.

Hearing the sudden laughter, Casadena faces them. Then gets hit in the head by charging fairies and falls to the ground as they begin attacking her. "**Ahhhhhhh! Help me! They're trying to murder meeeee! Help!**"

"Huh?" Shawna glances in her friends direction. Just as she does so, the fairies abandon Casadena and start chasing her instead!

Casadena stands, dusting herself off, and walks over to where the troll-like creature was sitting, staring at the CD player in horror. "Konnichiwa!"

"**Casadena! Some help here!**"

"Oh yea!" Casadena pulls her all-around book bag off of her shoulders, and searches through it until she finds what she was looking for. Standing back up and placing her all-around book bag back onto her back, Casadena throws the item and the fairies go after it like a dog with a ball.

Shawna exhales a breath of relief, standing up from the attack, dusting herself off. "What was that?"

"Fairy Treats!"

"Fairy Treats?" Shawna asks, an eyebrow rose. "Hm…" Shawna goes to look at the so-called Fairy Treats, and picks one up off of the ground. It wasn't Fairy Treats at all… It was pure sugar cubes! Shawna's eyes fill with tears. "These were my sugar cubes."

The fairies stop devouring the sugar cubes, and glare at Shawna evilly, their tiny faces covered with uneaten sugar.

Shawna gulps, seeing the murderous glares. "Um… And now they're yours!" she says, slowly stepping back until she was beside her friend and the troll-like creature.

"What do you want?" the troll-like creature asks in a grumpy voice.

"We wanna get into the labyrinth!" Casadena answers merrily. "Will you help us?"

"Hoggle doesn't help no one."

The evil smirk returns to Shawna's lips. "Oh, you'll help us."

Hoggle looks to Shawna oddly. "Why should I?"

Casadena bites her bottom lip, trying to think. "Because we need into the labyrinth."

Hoggle glances over to Casadena, then turns his attention back to Shawna. "Well? Why should I?"

"Because we need to get into the labyrinth," Shawna repeats.

Casadena nods in agreement. "How do we get in? How do we get it?"

"That's all you need to tell us," adds Shawna with a shrug.

"Why ya want in there for?" Hoggle inquires.

Shawna sighs, before answering. "We wanna get to the castle."

"How do you get in?"

"Through the door," Hoggle answers as if it were logical.

"But where's-" Casadena stops what she was about to asks, her head turned to the side. "**Fairies!**"

Shawna jumps around, preparing for battle. "Fairy? Where? They'll not get me twice in one day!"

"Never mind," Casadena replies, placing her left hand on the back of her head. "It was just a leprechaun."

Shawna blinks. "A leprechaun?" Once again, her eyes fill with tears. "You should have captured it!"

"Why?"

"We could've been rich if you have captured it!"

"Why?"

Shawna hits Casadena on the head. "Anyways… What door?"

"What door to what?" Hoggle inquires, going back to his business.

"That's not really very helpful," Shawna replies dully.

Casadena walks up the nearly hidden gate. "Is this the door?"

Shawna looks to Hoggle. "Is that the door?"

"You're not asking the right questions."

Shawna growls. "Where is the door into the labyrinth?"

"Right there," Hoggle answers, pointing to the gate beside Casadena.

As the gate open, the three of them enters.

Shawna looks down both of the passage ways. "Left or right? Right or left?"

"If I were you," Hoggle cut in, "I would go back the way I came."

With a gasp, Casadena raises her finger into the air. "I know!" Casadena runs right into the opposite wall and falls backwards.

Shawna blinks, looking down at her friend. "Well… Guess we don't go that way." Grabbing Casadena by the back of the girl's shirt, Shawna drags her friend down the passageway to the right.

-

Seemingly walking for hours, Shawna stops and drops her friend.

Casadena's head falls backwards, hitting the hard floor. "Ouch… That kinda hurt…" Rubbing the back of her head, Casadena stands up.

"This is getting us fucking nowhere slowly!" Shawna growls out, hitting her head against the wall.

"'Allo."

"What?" Shawna stops hitting her head on the wall in order to look around. "'Ello?"

"Hey, look! A worm!" Casadena picks up the worm and places it inside her mouth, getting ready to eat it.

Shawna quickly smacks her friend upside the head, causing the girl to spit out the blue worm. "Don't eat the worm, ya dipshit!"

"'Allo," the worm repeats from where it was first standing.

Shawna glazes down at the worm. "'Ello."

"Thanks for the bath."

Casadena smiles.

"Come inside and meet the misses," the worm tells them, entering a small hole which it called 'home'.

Shawna blinks down at the small hole. "Uh…"

"M-kay," Casadena replies stupidly.

"How are we suppose ta get inside?" Shawna asks Casadena.

"Hm…" Casadena bites on her bottom lip as she tries to think. "I know!" Casadena pulls a set of markers out of her all-around backpack, and starts drawing a face on her index finger. Once she was finished, Casadena sticks the finger into the small hole.

A vein appears on Shawna's forehead as she tries to keep her cool, and without warning, she whacks Casadena on the back of the skull.

Casadena removes her finger from the hole in order to grab the back of her head with both hands. "Ouch!"

The blue worm crawls out of his home. "Where did Chris go?"

Shawna looks from Casadena, to the worm, back to Casadena, then to the worm once more. "Who?"

"Chris."

Casadena looks at the face drawn on her finger.

Shawna pushes her friend out of the way. "Do you know which way we should go?"

"Neither," the worm tells her.

"Huh?"

"Neither," the worm repeats. "I'd go through that passage over there."

"What passage?"

Casadena concentrates on the wall. "In the… wall?"

"Okay…" Shawna takes Casadena by the arm. "Let's test this idea."

"Which idea?"

"This one!" Shawna says, before throwing Casadena into the wall.

Casadena passes through the wall, but fell right on her face since she expected to hit wall instead of pass through the wall.

"What do you know… It really works." Shawna walks through the wall, trips on Casadena's leg, and falls right on top of something.

**To Be Continued…**


	4. Tell the Truth or Nothing at All

**The Labyrinth**

**Chapter Four**

**Tell the Truth or Nothing at All**

**By Ronin S. Oath and mudrakdragon1**

Shawna slowly rises to her feet, looking down to see what she fell on top of, only to find Hoggle smashed into the ground. "Oh it's you… Wait a second! What's your name?"

"It's Hoggle!"

"Hoggle?" Shawna blinks down at the troll-like creature. "Are you sure?"

Casadena stands as well, dusting off her shirt.

Shawna turns towards her friend. "This is Hoddle."

"Hobble?" Casadena questions, looking down at Hoggle in confusion.

"No, it's Hibble!"

"Hiddle?" Casadena questions, glancing back to her friend.

Shawna blinks. "Hermit?"

"Hinder?"

"Hindrance?"

"Hamper?"

"Hobby?"

"Hobo?"

"Hollow?"

"Holocaust?"

"No, that's that place where the Germans put the Jews during World War Two, where they tried to kill them all off because they thought that the Jews were an inferior race compared to themselves," Shawna replied. "Anyways… I think his name is Hoddy."

Casadena bits her bottom lip for a moment, staring down at the troll-like creature. "Horde… maybe?"

"Maybe Horrid, but not Horde."

Hoggle clenches his fist to his sides. "It's Hoggle!"

"Ohhhhhhhhh!" Casadena and Shawna reply together.

After a moment of silence, Shawna grabs onto Casadena and begins to pull her along the path. "Alright let's go!"

"Hey," Hoggle calls out behind them. "I'm supposed to go with you!"

Casadena stops in her tracks, nearly causing Shawna to fall. "Did you hear something?"

Shawna lets go of Casadena so that the girl won't cause her to fall more than she has to, and listens closely. "Naw… Didn't hear a thin'."

"Hm… I could've sworn I heard something."

"Oh well… Let's go!"

-

After walking for a very long time, they come upon a directional sign… The only problem is that the sign not only is written in Goblin script, but also points into directions that lead to solid walls as well as to the sky itself!

"Damn," Shawna mutters to herself. "Lots of ways to go… Hell, some of these fucking corridors don't even goes those ways!"

"Don't ya mean 'go those ways'?"

Shawna glares at Casadena. "What-fucking-ever!" Turning back towards the sign, Shawna spins in a complete circle. "Which fucking way do we fucking go?"

-

Jareth, surrounded by goblins, looks into his crystal ball. "My she _does _have a mouth on her."

An unappealing goblin, standing beside the Goblin King, scratches his head. "She needs one to eat…"

Jareth gives the goblin a pointed look, before returning his attention to the crystal. "Let's see how they do when they come across the four guards…"

-

"Damn!" Shawna curses. "Another dead end!"

Casadena taps Shawna's shoulder. "Who are they?" she inquires, pointing towards two figures to their left.

Shawna turns in the direction her friend pointed out. "I don't know…"

As Shawna walks towards the figures, Casadena stands there like a turkey in the rain.

"**Casadena!**" Shawna yells, turning back to find the girl staring blanking into space. "Come on!"

"Oh!" Casadena runs up beside her friend. "What are they?" she questions once again, nodding in the two figures direction.

Shawna walks over to the Red Guard and starts banging on its chest, thinking that it was just a door. "Hello? Anyone in there?"

She is answered by silence.

"Hey!"

Silence.

"Hey!"

Silence.

"Hey!"

Silence.

"Hey!"

Silence.

"Hey!"

Silence.

"Hey!"

Silence.

"Hey!"

Silence.

"Hey!"

Silence.

Shawna growls. "Anyone in there? 'Ello… I'm trying to talk to you!"

Casadena slowly approaches her friend, and gently pulls her away from the Red Guard. "I think those are card people."

"Card people?"

"Yea… Like cards," Casadena replies. "Like the red card and the black card… Only it'd blue instead of black."

Shawna blinks. "What in the hell have you been smokin'?"

"Have we gone to Wonderland?" Casadena questions, her eyes sparkling.

Shawna turns back to the guards, and harshly bangs her head on the wall between them. Sharply turning back to Casadena, she questions, "Do these look like fucking cards to you? Does this look like Wonderland? Did you happen to see a little white rabbit jumping up and down the road hollering '_I'm late! I'm late! I'm late for a very important date!_'?"

"Yes... yes… and the rabbit is-"

Shawna stops her friend. "Don't tell me you saw a rabbit!"

Unknown to them, the two guards quietly stand behind them, watching their every move.

"He's right there," Casadena replies, pointing to an empty wall.

Shawna shakes her head while patting Casadena on the head. "It's okay… You're goin' be alright…" Turning back around, Shawna notices the guards now have heads. "Do you know where we are suppose to go?"

"You have to choose a door," the Red Guard replies.

"It that all?" Shawna questions, walking towards the Red Guard, ready to go through the door.

"But it isn't that simple," the Blue Guard adds.

"Only one door will lead you to the castle."

"The other leads to certain death."

"Well… that _really_ takes the pressure off," Shawna replies sarcastically.

"WOW!" Casadena gasps. "Certain death!"

Shawna whacks Casadena upside the head. Turning back towards the guards, she raises both of her hands. "Let's see… hm… life or death?"

"That is the question!" Casadena quotes from behind.

"To live or to die?"

"That is another question."

"So…" Shawna glances up to the guards. "Which is which?"

"We can't tell you," the Red Guard answers with a shrug of his shoulders.

"It's against the rules," adds the Blue Guard.

Shawna snaps her fingers. "Damn those rules!"

"**Fairies!**" Casadena suddenly calls out, staring to their left.

Shawna quickly looks around. "What? Where?"

"Nope. Never mind."

Shawna gives Casadena a pointed look before whacking her upside the head. "Anyways… Which one of you can tell us which door to go through?"

"They can," the two guards reply, indicating to their lower half.

Shawna and Casadena look down, quite surprised to find that each guard has another head.

Casadena is the first to speak. "Konnichiwa!"

Shawna sighs, before pushing Casadena out of the way once more. "Which of you can tell us which door to go through?"

"You can only ask one of us," both of the guard's second heads reply.

Casadena brightens up. "Are we each allowed one question?"

The guards go blank for a moment, before huddling together. Once coming to a conclusion, they face the two girls.

"One question for each of you," the Red Guard warns.

"Alright," Shawna smugly says. "Me first. Which do-"

"Hold on a second," the Blue Guard interrupts. "First we must warn you."

"One of us always tells the truth," the Red Guard picks up, "and the other always lies."

"He's the liar."

"No I'm not," the Red Guard states in a mater-of-fact way.

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

Shawna fists her hands at her side. "Hey! Hello! Person with a question here!"

The two guards instantly stop arguing. "Yes?"

"Which door do you-" Shawna pauses. "Wait a second… How do we know that you aren't lying or telling the truth about the rules? 'Cause one of ya says the other lies and you tell the truth… How do we know one of you aren't lying now?"

"You don't," the Blue Guard answers.

The Red Guard nods in agreement. "Next."

"Damn," Shawna mumbles under her breath. "I've wasted that fucking question."

Casadena steps up to the Blue Guard. "So… If you guys are cards, and that guy there is the red card, then… Why are you a blue card instead of a black card?"

"We're not cards," both of the guards reply together. "We're guards."

Shawna bangs her head against the wall. "And I thought I wastes my question…" Suddenly she stops banging her head against the wall, and raises her hand into the air. "I gottas an idea!"

"Wha?" Casadena inquires.

"You go through the red door and I'll take-"

"But I don't wanna go through the red door!" Casadena interrupts.

Shawna takes a deep breath. "Okay then… You go through the blue door and I'll take the red door, and we'll see where we both end up." With that, Shawna walks up to the Red Guard. Turning back to her friend, she smiles and says, "Good luck to ya." She pauses for a moment, then to herself says, "But if she has good luck then I have certain death…" Shawna glances back to Casadena and calls out, "Hope you choose certain death!"

**To Be Continued…**


	5. Turn on the Lights!

**The Labyrinth**

**Chapter Five**

**Turn on the Lights!**

**By Ronin S. Oath and mudrakdragon1**

Shawna glances around the long tunnel that lay ahead of her with a sense of foreboding. '_I hope I chose the right door…_'

_Clink_

_Click_

"What the hell was that?"

_Creeeeeee_

_**Bang!**_

Shawna swirls around, just as the door slams shut on its own. '_I really hope I chose the right door._' Turning back to the path which lay ahead, Shawna moves forward. Never expecting the ground to fall out from underneath her until it was too late…

-

Casadena jumps as the door closes behind her, her eyes wide with what appears to be fear. "That was a little too strange to be a good thing," she says out loud to herself before continuing down the path which led to lord-only-knows-where. "Now that Shawna's gone, I'm all alone… all by myself in the labyrinth… with no one to talk to… all alone…" Casadena sadly sighs to herself. "Guess I need to make a bit of noise so I won't have to be all by myself… like I am… in the labyrinth… right now…" Pausing where she stood, Casadena takes off her all-around pack, and searches through it until she finds a 15K golden flute. "I guess this will do for now," she mumbles, replacing her all-around pack back over her shoulders, then placing the 15K golden flute up to her lips.

The sweet melody of Casadena's flute circled throughout the labyrinth, reaching all the way to the Goblin King's castle where Jareth rested on his throne, watching them with a keen eye. But what's more important here, is that the beautiful melody which seemed impossible for a human to play, reached the ears of Bombadil de Old.

Bombadil de Old is a pretty old man- as if you couldn't tell- who lived to serve Jareth as had his father, and his father's father, and his father's father's father, and his father's father's father's father, and many more before hence since. Entranced by the beastly charm of the flutes' song, Bombadil de Old follows the sound until he comes upon our story's Casadena.

Casadena, still playing away without a care in the world, keeps walking through her chosen path, hoping deep down to find Shawna soon so that they could find the Goblin King's Castle and get whatever they wish most. At about this time, Casadena lowers her flute, looking quite lost within thought. "What is it I want most? Shawna wants to marry the she-man and live forever as the she-man's queen… that or to be the riches girl in the world, then marry the she-man so that she may live forever as the she-man's queen. But me… What do I want?" But before she could finish her thinking, the ground opens up underneath her, and she falls like a rock in water.

Upon seeing this, Bombadil de Old rolls around the labyrinth floor, laughing until he explodes such as all goblins do when they too hard…

-

"Took you long enough ta get here," Shawna comments dryly once Casadena lands in the open hands off the wall beside her. "These hands told me that both of those door-guard-things lead here, so we were kinda screwed back there."

Still holding her flute in her hands, Casadena glances from her friend to the multiple hands attached to the all, then back to her friend. "Konnichiwa!"

Shawna rolls her eyes just as the hands begin to speak.

"So do you want to go up or down?"

"We already been up," Casadena informs the speaking hands as she replaces her 15K golden flute in her all-around pack. "**Down!**"

"Cas-" before Shawna can finish, the hands drops them both, "-**ADEN-**" Shawna hits the ground with Casadena landing, sitting up on top of her.

"Shawna?" Casadena calls, glancing around herself. "I wonder where Shawna went…"

"Casadena," Shawna's mumbled voice sounds.

"Where are you, Shawna?"

"Um… you're kinda sittin' on me," Shawna replies. "**Get the hell off of me!**"

"Huh?" Casadena looks down to find Shawna under her. Standing up, Casadena reaches down, and pulls Shawna to her feet.

"Finally," Shawna mumbles, dusting herself off.

"Where are we?"

Shawna glances around, though it is nearly too dark to see anything. "Hm… No doors… No windows… Total darkness… Where else could we be?"

Casadena's eyes grow wide. "Santa's workshop?"

"No, dipshit," Shawna replies, trying to hold in her laughter. "We're in an oubliette."

"Looks just like Santa's workshop to me," Casadena repeats with another glance around. "Without the toys."

Shawna slaps Casadena on the head. "Who in the hell came up with an oubliette anyways?"

"Two twins names Oublie and Etta."

Shawna blinks, staring at Casadena. "How the hell do you know this?"

"Oublie and Etta always caused lots of trouble," Casadena continues. "Then one day, they dug a large hole in the ground so that when someone walked over it, it would fall in on them, and they'd be trap forever and ever. The only problem is that when the two of them covered the hole, they forgot where they placed it. They didn't care much, mind you, so the two of them just went home, thinking that if someone fell it, then they'd know about it the next day when they came out to play. Well… As you can imagine, Oublie and Etta completely forgot about the hole they dug the day before, and the two children went out playing in the-"

"Could you hurry up a bit?"

"M-kay. Let's just say that both Oublie and Etta fell into the hold. The town was quiet for years upon years, and everyone thought that the two troublemakers skipped town, such as trouble makers do. Then one day, while the Three Little Pigs were fetching water for the Seven Dwarfs, Pinocchio came across a large hole in the ground. Being a boy made of wood; Pinocchio ran over to the Three Little Pigs and told them of the hole… Later, they found the bodies of Oublie and Etta. Thus is how we have an Oubliette."

Shawna sighs, shaking her head. "I thought you had something there… until you started talking about fairy tales."

"But the hole the two dug was only five feet deep."

"Riiiiight. I guess we just have to sit and uh… um…"

"Bake pancakes!"

"How the hell do you expect us to bake pancakes in an oubliette?"

"Uh…"

"There's not even a shred of light seeping into this hell hole!"

Suddenly a torch flickers to life, lighting the whole area.

Shawna blinks, adjusting to the brightness. "What the-"

Casadena, meanwhile, spots someone moving directly behind her friend. "Hobble!"

"Huh?" Shawna turns around, her eyes traveling down to the goblin-like creature. "Hibble."

"Hoddle?"

"Fiddle?"

"Little?"

"Shittle?"

"I thought it sounded like Hoqqle…"

"Hodo?"

"Hobo?"

"Hondle?"

"Handle?"

"Hiddle?"

"It's Hoggle!" Hoggle growls out.

-

Hold the crystal ball in one hand, Jareth rubs his temples with the other. "Why oh why did I ever let them into my labyrinth?"

"But you didn't let them in," a boiled goblin answers.

"Yea," a second goblin agrees. "They gots in their selves… Remember?"

Jareth gives both goblins a pointed look.

"Well it's true," the first goblin grumbles.

**To Be Continued…**


	6. Second Encounter With the Sheman

**Disclaimer: **We do not own the Labyrinth! If we did, I'm sure mudrakdragon1 would never let you see Jareth ever again… As for me, let's just say that you really wouldn't want to see what I'd do to the place if I had created it!

**Warning: **This story was created while mudrakdragon1 and I were under the influence of a sugar high.

**The Labyrinth**

**Chapter Six**

**Second Encounter With the She-man**

**By Ronin S. Oath and mudrakdragon1**

"How long is this going to take?" Shawna demands as she saunters just a step behind Hoggle. "It seems as if we've been walking for hours!"

"Not much further," Hoggle replies in agitation. The two were slowly driving him crazy! He didn't she how anyone in their realm was able to put up with them as long as they had…

Suddenly a deep, ominous voice calls out "**Beware all who enter!**" startling a scream from both Shawna and Casadena.

"What the hell are those… those things?"

"**Do not enter!**"

Hoggle sighs, continuing on. "Don't worry about them," he tells the girls without a glance back to see if they were going to follow or not.

"**A fiery death awaits you ahead!**"

Shawna's eyes light up when she hears this. "I know now! They're fire alarms! You can't trick me for long! They're fire alarms! Aren't they?"

"**Go back while you still can!**"

Casadena cautiously steps up to one of the rock-faces.

"**Nothing will be gained by continuing down this path!**"

"Nope," Casadena swiftly chirps, swirling around to face Shawna. "They're not fire alarms."

"Why do you say that?" Shawna inquires, as she and Casadena continue down the darkened path after Hoggle.

"**Do not go on!**"

"They aren't made of fire," Casadena answers obviously. "They look more like rock alarms to me…"

"**Take heed and go no farther…**"

Shawna glares at her friend. "They don't have to be made of no damn fire to be fucking fire alarms, you idiot!"

"**Beware! Beware!**"

"Why do they call them fire alarms then?"

"Because… Because…"

"**This is not the way!**"

A growl escapes from Hoggle's throat. "They're false alarms!"

Shawna and Casadena blinks, looking at each other. "But…" The two looks down at Hoggle. "That's what we said…"

"**Soon it will be too late for you…**"

"Yea, yea, yea… We heard it all before," grouches Shawna. "Anyways…" The spirit returns to Shawna's dark eyes. "Let's get a move on!"

"**Beware! For the path you're about to take will lead to your certain destruction!**"

"Will you false alarms just shut-up?"

_Clink!_

"Did you hear that?" Shawna questions, leering suspiciously at the ground as if it, too, would turnout to be a trap door. Instead, her eyes land on a crystal ball. "Ooooooh! Look at the pretty crystal… Soooo pretty…" The crystal suddenly starts rolling away from the group as if it had a mind of its own. Noticing this, Shawna cries out "I want!" and starts chasing after it.

A chill runs down Hoggle's spine as Casadena heads off after her friend. "Hoggle don't like the looks of this…"

As the crystal ball rounds a corner, Shawna speeds after it. Never expecting to run into a very _solid _object until it was too late, and she landed hard on her rear. "**Ouch! Watch where you're goin-**" Opening her dark orbs, Shawna glances up and up until her eyes land on Jareth. "Huh?"

Casadena and Hoggle take this moment to appear behind the fallen Shawna.

Shawna, still not noticing her friends, laughs to herself while declaring, "We bump into each other a lot."

"It's more along the lines of you bumping into me," mends Jareth.

"It's the she-man!" Casadena points out from behind Shawna. "Konnichiwa, she-man!"

Jareth glares at Casadena over top of Shawna's shoulder. Moving his vision to the left, he spots Hoggle. A shadow of a smile touches his face. "Hello there, Higgle."

"It's Hoddle," Shawna corrects.

"Nun-uh," mutters Casadena, "his name is Hobble."

"Or was it Hiddle?"

"Hibble?"

"Hixxle?"

"Hubble?"

"Huddle?"

"Hogwarts?"

"H-" Shawna turns a glare on Casadena. "No, you idiot!"

"Nani?"

Shawna sighs, smacking Casadena on the top of the skull. "Hogwarts is in Harry Potter!"

"So?"

Shawna let out a growl as her right eye started to twitch. "Read my lips, Casadena… This is **not **Hogwarts! This is the fucking **real **world! Not some sort of make-believe fantasy land! Do you understand?"

"Umm…" Casadena seems to be concentrating very hard. "No…"

"Gah! I give the fuck up!" shouts Shawna, throwing her arms in the air. "And besides… his name is Shoggle."

"You sure it wasn't Shoogle?"

"**It's Hoggle!**"

"Right," Jareth says in a bored tone, "well this has been very interesting and all, but you only have seven hours left to complete my labyrinth."

Shawna faces Jareth once again. "Your point?"

"My point is-"

"Hey, when did the she-man get here?" Casadena interrupts suddenly.

"Well," Shawna answers, "he's kinda been here… for a while now actually…"

"I don't see where this has any relevance to your situation," Jareth continues before clearing out his throat. "Would you mind stepping away? You are far too close."

"Huh?" Shawna blinks, then blushes three shades of red.

"It's not that I don't enjoy company, it's just-"

Shawna interrupts by shouting, "**Well fine by me!**"

"-not yours."

"That wasn't very nice," Casadena declares, shaking her finger at Jareth.

"Like I care if he's nice or not," Shawna huffs. "Let's go!"

Casadena and Hoggle stand there.

"I said, '**Let's fucking go already!**'!"

"M-kay! M-kay! We're coming!" Casadena calls back, running to Shawna's side.

Jareth glares at the two girls who would dare turn their backs on him. "Stop!"

Shawna laughs to herself. "Or what?"

With an angry scowl, Jareth throws his crystal ball into the darkness before disappearing in a cloud of glitter.

"The she-man's gone again…"

A swishing sound is heard as a large, circular object covered with twisting blades and turning screw-like objects comes into view.

Hoggle's blood freezes. "Oh no! The Cleaners!"

"Oh shit," Shawna mumbles, her darkened eyes growing large. "**Run!**"

Casadena, obvious to the Cleaners, stands there as Shawna and Hoggle runs ahead of her. "Huh? Run? Why?" When no one answers, Casadena scratches her head. "M-kay… I don't see why you guys are running, though…" Turning around to see if the she-man came back, Casadena's spots the Cleaners hardly ten feet away from her! "Oh…" With that, Casadena runs after her friends, a layer of dust rising behind her. It doesn't take long before Casadena is once again running beside Shawna. "K-Konnichiwa!"

Shawna glances over to Casadena. "What the hell took ya so long?"

Casadena is about to reply when she runs into a dead end (literally). "Oh, ouch! What hit me?"

"Um… Horddle… I think we need some help here…"

"There's no way out!" says Hoggle worriedly.

"Then," concludes Shawna, "we're doomed…"

Casadena sits up from where she'd fallen when she ran into the dead end. "But there's a ladder right there," she announces, pointing to the ladder over to the right.

"Where the hell did that thing come from?"

The cleaners close in on them.

"Um… Shawna…"

"What is it, Casad-" Seeing the cleaners only three feet away, Shawna stops mid-sentence. "**Move! Go, go, go! Now!**" With that, Shawna quickly climbs the ladder, leaving the other two to defend for themselves.

Casadena places Hoggle on her shoulders, knowing that he wouldn't be able to climb as fast as Shawna or herself, and follows Shawna to the top of the ladder just as the cleaners speed past them.

**To Be Continued…**


End file.
